Title:. . .and don't the kids just love it? By: Television Personalities Released by: Razor & Tie Released on: 1980 Rating (out of 10): 7 Date: 06/29/2001
A Review of the First Television Personalities Album, and not a Review of the Guy That Gave It to Me.
Let's not speak of him. Let's not mention those few days after our first and only date—those few days when I nearly lost my mind for no reason. Best to not say much about our three-hour phone conversation, and what a great time we had shooting the shit, quoting our favorite movies, and talking music.
I'll keep quiet about the Television Personalities CD he promised to burn for me, which he burned for me, and gave to me, in a pretty blue jewel case, with printed artwork and a track list cut out just so and glued to the back. To say nothing of his cute, rounded handwriting, that labeled the disc itself in black marker:
television personalities
. . .and don't the kids just love it?
To say nothing of the way he handed it to me when he first met me, as if it were more of an obligation than a gift, and how he didn't even feel slightly embarrassed after saying "I'm glad I remembered to bring this with me, because otherwise I would have had to mail it to you." Yup, yup. My first thought: "He can't possibly mean that the way it sounded, so I'll just file it away and enjoy myself." And I looked up at his eyes, waiting for him to flinch at his own lack of tact, and he didn't.
And to say nothing of how I knew from that moment that he wasn't attracted to me, and how judging from his reaction, it was possible that he was quite unattracted (whatever that means), and how I sensed that but I ignored my instincts and thought that by force of will I could make him feel the way I wanted him to feel about me.
But I'm not here to talk about him. He turned out to be a nut, and a liar, and a jerk—makes sense; his favorite movie is The Jerk.
All I really have to say is that I'm pretty fond of the first album (currently out-of-print on these shores, if my facts are right) by The Television Personalities, and it sucks that I can't even listen to it without being reminded of the guy who gave it to me. But, hey, maybe this is the way rock 'n' roll myth is created.
...and don't the kids just love it? is the sort of album that would be given to you by a guy you thought was cute. It's one of those early-summer, falling-in-love, holding-hands-in-the-park records. It's all adorable and twee and mod. Cor blimey, it's the sort of record a bloke would introduce a bird to if he wanted to show off his foppish, romantic side over a curry somewhere. His goofy, slightly sad, Syd Barrett, bedsit-schizo side.
(If I were gonna present a potential suitor with an album, it wouldn't be The TVPs'. That's sensitive-guy territory, and I don't go for those kindsa sensitive guys, and those kindsa guys don't go for my kinda sensitive girl. I'd impress him with, like, Vanilla Fudge's Renaissance. I wonder if that's in print!)
Oh, and speaking of Syd Barrett, this fellow's third obsession (right behind The Jerk and The TVPs, and somewhere in the ballpark of his obsession with Harold and Maude) was good old reclusive Syd 'imself. And there is indeed a tune on ...and don't the kids just love it? called "I Know Where Syd Barrett Lives."
The TVPs' full-length debut was released in 1980. Know what that means? It means that if you're lucky enough to find a copy, you should buy it! Let's face it: The Kinks have been co-opted by cheesy New York City club kids, and Belle and Sebastian are just too fucking obvious to be hip—they're the band you listen to before you discover the British Invasion '60s bands, and once you do, they're irrelevant. You can't listen to Donovan, cuz he's a hippie, and you can't listen to Nick Drake, cuz he's (well, besides being dead for 30 years) a Volkswagen salesman now. You might as well listen to The TVPs if you like music that sounds like rainy-day-art-student-tea-sippers #12 and 35, because no one in America has heard of them, and because 1980 is a very hip year right now.
It's funny to me that ...and don't the kids just love it? is, on top of all this, and as I said before, out of print. Isn't it just fucking hilarious that Mr. Record Snob's favorite spin-du-jour has to be (can't be anything but!) so rare? Not only that—I can do ya better! He learned about The TVPs from the German bass player in his band!!!! Mwahahahahahahahah. I don't know why this walking cliché appealed to me so much. Must have been his self-described "Davy Jones" look.
Cute album, though. I'd probably never buy it on my own, but I'm glad that putz brought it into my life. And I'm glad that as soon as ...and don't the kids just love it? waltzed into my life, the aforementioned fanboy putz pogo'ed out. I might have convinced myself to like this album a lot more than my personality normally allows for.
Yeah, I grin giddily when I hear "Geoff-er-rey is the kinda guy/Who always gets away wiv vat sor' of fing" (from "Geoffrey Ingram"), or "Siwwy girl/Wot 'ave you done now?" (from "Silly Girl," a loud, clangy Kinks redux). Wanna hear a good Neil-from-The Young Ones impression? Just wait 'til you hear TVP's "Part-Time Punks" from their prior release, the Where's Bill Grundy Now? EP!
Brit accents are a long-standing source of amusement for me. It's good; I don't have that much Python on tape, so I can get my ugly-American anglophilia out of my system this way. When I think the album is too cute, I turn it off and maybe start from a different spot later on. Everybody's happy this way.
I want to love...and don't the kids just love it? (to answer the band's question), and all it connotes, and sometimes in the right settings and for the appropriate duration of time, I do love it (briefly). I really, really like it, and in the light of day, I see that its Achilles' heel is just how easy it is (and how easy its' fans are) to make fun of—to set itself up for total mockery and parody.
